In Loving Memory of my beloved partner, Dr. Nigel Leigh Oldfield (26 July 1960-21 November 2019)

When my beloved, Leigh, first graced my life with the blessing of his presence, I felt that I had finally come home after many moons in the wilderness. It was love at first sight. As this big bear of a man walked into my arms on that cold, crisp January day nearly four years ago, I knew I had found what I had been looking for all my life.

Leigh was not just my lover, my partner, my husband in all but name; he was my inspiration, my mentor, my confidante, my soulmate and my best friend. More than anyone else, he loved and nurtured me and made me believe in myself, while encouraging me to challenge myself and to strive to turn my dreams into reality.

Thanks to you, my beloved, I am more comfortable in myself than I had ever dreamed possible, and, for a girl who had never even been to school, am now doing a degree at university.  I would not be the woman I am today if I had not met you. Thank you, my beloved, for blessing my life with your presence. Thank you for loving me and believing in me when I did not believe in myself. Thank you for giving me the wings to fly and for being the wind beneath my wings. And thank you, most of all, for being beautiful, beloved, irreplaceable YOU.

I will not say goodbye, love of my life, because you are coming home with me. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are the sunshine of my soul and the eternal song within my heart. Everything I do, my love, I do for you, to honour you for the joy and beauty you brought into my life, and into the lives of everyone privileged to have known you. 

The tears I shed at your tragic passing will never quench the fire you set alight within my bosom. I love you to the moon and back.  Forever and ever.  My beloved.  My hero.  My guiding light in this world and the next.  Sleep well, my sweetheart.

Snuggle into the warmth of my embrace and feel my tender kiss upon your lips. Be at peace, honeybun. 

I Look, and I See You

I look, and I see you. 

There you are. I see you covered in dust. I see you tarnished by mud and dirt. Your sparkle is dulled, your lustre defiled. The grubby little object that everyone passes by, lost forever to the world.

A few stop to explore, and, upon seeing the slime and debris that covers you, turn away with a look of disgust upon their faces. They kick you further into the gutter, then march off without a backwards glance. 

Then, strolling on, I behold the beautiful ones. Reflecting the light of the sun, twinkling like rainbow stars. Everyone gathers round, adoring, admiring, their breath taken away by the sheer magnificence in front of their eyes. Their hearts swell with joy; squeals of delight escape their lips. What sparkle! What splendour! What gifts from Heaven! I walk up to them. Their ecstasy is contagious. I feel an answer from within. But my heart remains cold.

I return to you. I bend down to look closer. Hesitantly, I extend my hand. My lips purse at the muck and grime that surrounds you. The stench drives me insane : my stomach begins to roil; the bile rises in my throat. And, all the while, I hear the whispers behind me.

My mind is filled with doubts, but my heart knows what to do. Pick it up, says that deep inner voice, the sound of my soul. Pick it up. This one is for you. Believe me; you won't regret it.

I lean over again, holding my breath against the rot. One hand darts forward. Ignoring the slugs, ignoring the worms, I grab you and thrust you quickly into my coat pocket.

I hear them. The whispers have now grown to a cacophony. What a stupid bitch, says one. What a retarded cunt, agrees another. Someone screeches behind me. Push her, they all say with one voice. If she loves the muck, let her roll in it.

I clasp my filthy hand tightly to my pocket. The slime stains my pristine furs, but I do not care. The voices behind me recede; the song within me rises to a clamour. Tears swim in my eyes as the bliss of sudden discovery washes over me.

 

I turn away, back in the safety of my head. The yells of the angry multitude are muted. Their lips move, but my ears are impervious. 

I stroll past the beautiful jewels on display. I cast my eye upon them again. The gold, the silver, the rubies and emeralds. The sapphires and amethysts. The diamonds shining brighter than the noonday sun. 

They are truly wonderful. But they mean nothing to me.

They are as beautiful and bright as they are fake. One day, they will dull. One day soon, unbeknownst to the enraptured crowd, they will rust. They will tarnish and lose their sparkle. And they will be discarded upon the wayside, where they will be swallowed by the noisome ground, never to be seen again.

But you. I will take you home. I will wash you and gently polish you. Then I will wear you with pride upon my hand.

Because. I know what you are. Brighter than the sun. Brighter than the moon. Worth more than everything else in this blighted land combined. Bestowed from the Heavens. The true gift of God. The last of the priceless gems from the chests of the ancient Kings. The greatest ever treasure-find. 

I still see the bling on display from time to time, flaunting itself with brash abandon. It is a pretty sight, but it holds no pleasure for me. My heart has been awoken to something of far superior quality. One that mere words cannot describe. One that I will cherish till the end of my days...

I look again, and I see you. There you are. My pride and joy. My little ray of sunshine, my little taste of paradise.

My very own, for now, and forever.

Fluffernufferkins

I have a bunny
His name is fluffernufferkins 
He's sweet like honey 
And is such a cuddlebunnykin ❤️❤️❤️
Sometimes I call him Honey Popkin
And he calls me Kitty Pupkin-
We are so deeply in love,
Me and my beautiful turtledove! ❤️
Snoozling snoozlers snoozy and snug, snug like a bug in a rug 
We cheep, chirp, chirrup and coo,
We little lovebirds, me and you!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

BBBB

Busily buzzing as a bee & bubbling as a blobby bobble, my beautiful bright-eyed baby bunny buddy boo bumbles into bed like a big brown bear! He's a bonny bundle of beauty and bubbliness is my beloved bunny boo, as bright as a blue-eyed bird. Oh my baby bunny buddy boo!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Lovebirds 💞

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 

That Halloween Feeling Is Coming

 Freaky xxx

We Gather

Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,

Old Time is still a-flying;

And this same flower that smiles today

Tomorrow will be dying.

To The Virgins, To Make Much Of Time

Cuddly Bunny 🐰❤️

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah.....

I love to sing Aaaaaaah in a very high voice. I have absolutely loved doing it for as far back as I can remember, and it's very calming and very therapeutic also!!! ❤️

How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.